Maintain friendships while dating
“Keep an eye out for friends like this, because sometimes they are putting you down so they can be the ones to lift you back up—and it turns into a never ending cycle of you feeling inadequate,” says Perelmutter, who advises an honest in-person discussion.
“Tell them how bad their comments make you feel and one of two things will happen.
But when it crosses a line into jealousy—including aggressive competition, one-upping, and excessive attempts at leveling the playing field by diminishing your accomplishments—things become less kosher. That’s not to say that good friends won’t have fleeting moments of jealousy—that's just life, "but they work to contain those emotions and express them appropriately, rather then through veiled insults or overt competitiveness," explains Dr. “If you're always walking away from them feeling down on yourself, or having to talk yourself into why that person is your friend, that person might not be right for you at this time,” says Fati Marie, California-based certified integrative holistic health coach at Encinitas’ Four Moons Spa.
“Good friends are like cheerleaders: they root you on and take pride in your success. “Listen to your gut and start taking small steps back, away from any scenarios that might connect you two." While, of course, some friends are simply honest-to-a-fault—which means you’ll occasionally face negative reactions that are tough to stomach—those same straightforward pals will also prove equally supportive and consistently build you up. Nicolosi stresses the importance of paying attention to internal cues. Do you feel weighed down, drained, and unsure of yourself?
Somebody who constantly belittles you and points out your flaws—we all have them! It’s important to draw boundaries and, as difficult as it can be, either stand up for yourself or back away. Studies have suggested that those with really solid friends live longer.Like all deep relationships, however, even your platonic ones are bound to have their shaky moments.If a friend has the opposite impact, we may want to reconsider our relationship and reconfigure that person’s role in our lives.It doesn’t mean you need to end the friendship altogether—maybe you still see them for social gatherings—but they shouldn't be who you turn to for emotional support," explains Dr.