Dating over 40 and advice about issues relationships
“It was a tremendous boost to my somewhat wounded self-esteem to be approached by such a beautiful woman,” he recalls.
“However, it was the ensuing conversation that evening that made her irresistible—I found her absolutely fascinating.” The beautiful woman, Perri, was equally entranced by the man she saw walk in the door more than an hour before she gathered the courage to speak to him.
“When it comes to our personal lives, we assume that things are going to happen by magic,” she observes.
“But you have to be proactive, and using a professional matchmaking service greatly enhances your chances of meeting the right person.
Today, with three years of marriage behind her, Uli happily encourages people over the age of 40 to turn to the help of a professional in their search for love.
In fact, she even founded her own Atlanta-based upscale matchmaking service, Sterling Introductions, which also has an office in New York City.
From professional matchmakers to experienced relationship coaches, we’ve gathered a group of love aficionados who understand what it takes for mature adults to identify what they want and how to achieve it. Acknowledging what you have lays the foundation for bringing great things, events and people into your life. Hiring a professional matchmaker will greatly enhance your chances of meeting the person who’s right for you. These types of groups offer diverse activities monthly and provide an instant social network. Volunteer your time and talents to a charitable organization. Rather than sipping coffee alone, go to the nearest Starbucks or coffee spot. (You won’t have different results if you keep dating the same type! So often we blame others and don’t take time to reflect on how we showed up. If you haven’t done something in a while that brings you pleasure, make a commitment to try it again and you will have a certain je nais se quoi that will make you irresistible in dating. If self-doubt creeps up, replace the negative thought with something you absolutely love about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, enroll good friends to help. Get excited about how much you will learn about yourself during this process. But if you focus on love and how much you already have in your life, you will find yourself more grateful, more satisfied and more loving. Start concentrating on the relationships that you already have in your life. Instead, remind yourself of your brilliance and beauty. With billions of people on the planet, I promise you there is at least one good one left. “I was past 40, I had been married for a long time and I found myself back on the dating scene,” she recalls. I wanted to find the right person—not someone just to date and have fun with on a Saturday night.” A private and discreet person, Uli couldn’t imagine herself using today’s popular online dating sites to try and find a mate.
A reputable matchmaking service will only work with qualified individuals and will ensure a comfortable and respectful experience. Self-appreciation is the first essential step to accepting or giving love. Ladies, men congregate on the course for business and pleasure. Smiling makes you approachable, enhances your appearance and attracts others. Helping others feels good and can be an opportunity to meet others with common values. Once you look at your self-defeating pattern, you are less likely to repeat it. Pretend that you are a dating scientist and you are cataloging all of your interesting dating experiences. This will also help you to let go of any feelings of lack or neediness. Let these people know how much you appreciate them. Make a list of all the things that are extraordinary about you. Attraction doesn’t have much to do with age or even physical appearance but has everything to do with self-confidence—the way you carry yourself and the belief that you carry about YOU. So she began to consider professional matchmaking, which she felt would provide her with a more personal approach as she embarked on her search for love.
And you just have to stay positive and keep an open mind. There are plenty of success stories—mine included." When Gary Higbie walked into Cowboys in Kennesaw in July of 2000, the last thing on his mind was finding love.
“On that first date, we had two bottles of wine and closed out the restaurant,” she muses. We felt like we had known each other for a long time.” Within three months, the couple was engaged.
And on the one-year anniversary of their first meeting, Uli and Gary married in a private, outdoor, sunset ceremony on the island of Kauai.
We’ve asked a panel of local experts to share their top tips for finding love after the age of 40. Hold that gaze just a split second too long and you may be surprised by the positive responses you’ll receive. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional assistance. Check online calendars such as Events in Your Area or Atlanta Buzz for local options. Many have met as a result of online sites such as Plenty of Fish, e Harmony, and Perfect Match. ) It’s normal to have baggage from past relationships or feel drained by the dating process, but remember not to unload heavy emotional issues or hurt feelings about your ex on early dates. Before you consider looking for love far away, consider that people in your community may have connections for you that you haven’t thought about. If most of your Saturday nights are spent hanging out with your friend, his or her spouse and two children, even if you adore them, it may be time to pick up new single women and men for friendship. Ask yourself: what are your top five deal breakers? You shouldn’t know if you want to marry someone after the first five minutes (contrary to popular belief and speed networking events! The only question you need to ask yourself on an early date is if you’re having fun and want to learn more about the other person or not. ), you may be anxious about getting back into the dating game. Look at this journey to love as an adventure, not a difficult task that may never end. Think of all of the relationships that have not worked out in the past and capture—on paper—all of the qualities that you are certain that you don’t want in your Dream Man or Woman. For more information or tips from the featured love experts and relationship coaches, visit them online: Uli Eitel, Sterling Introductions: Ingram, Atlanta’s Upscale Single: La Cota, It’s Just Lunch: Salisbury, Feel the Love International LLC: Uli Eitel, finding people to date at the age of 44 was no problem at all.
Their words of wisdom are designed to help you find the kind of relationship that meets your individual wishes and needs at this exciting point in your life. When you are grateful, you feel good about yourself and you are in the right frame of mind to attract love into your life. Define the values and qualities that you need to have in a life partner. We are open to reaching out for professional assistance in all areas of our lives—we hire tax consultants, investment professionals or personal trainers, yet when it comes to our love lives, we mistakenly believe that we can find our life partner by chance. The Fed EX person will not deliver your significant other to your door. Approach others with a smile and your business card. Networking events are great places to make connections. Submit an interesting profile with a current picture and let the communication begin! You may want to base this list on qualities people possessed who were difficult for you to handle in past relationships. You’re fabulous, no doubt, but there are probably things you did—or didn’t do—in your last relationship or on dates that you can learn from. Passion is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess. So many daters focus on their flaws and why someone they like would never be interested in them. Remember that the act of love requires taking risks and being open—with your mind and in your heart. Start getting excited about all the new people you will meet. If you focus on fear, you become more fearful; if you focus on doubt, more doubtful. Now that you are focused on what you want—love—start acting on that emotion. Friend love and family love are both very powerful emotions. Steer clear of any conversations about how terrible it is to be dating at 40, or how there are “no good men or women out there.” Remember to keep your focus on what you want and also remember that you only need one. Creating a Dream Partner List is possibly the most important thing you can do when you are looking for love. Grab your journal and a glass of wine, put on some Barry White or whatever does it for you and then go to work on capturing all of the qualities that you want and desire in your partner. The truth is that your list is just an exercise to help you be clearer about what it is you want to attract and what you will be looking for in a mate. It was finding the right people—people who shared her life goals—that was the issue.
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“I knew that one day I would want to be married again. And after three years of dating Perri exclusively, neither was Gary. Martin, he got down on one knee and presented his very surprised beloved with the Waffle House ticket he had written her name and number on the night they met.